


Disasters at Tescos : Olive Oil

by a_xmasmurder



Series: Disasters at Tescos [1]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Blowjobs, Established Relationship, Johnlock - Freeform, M/M, Olive Oil, Porn, Science Experiments, it's for science
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-13
Updated: 2013-01-13
Packaged: 2017-11-25 07:16:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/636449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_xmasmurder/pseuds/a_xmasmurder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So, this was a little prompt by nichellen, and she liked it, so I kept it. Might be part of a porn ficlet series, haven't decided yet.</p><p>My very first foray into Johnlock porn. Hope you like!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Disasters at Tescos : Olive Oil

John couldn't _believe_ just how many brands of tea there were now. Red tea, black tea, white tea with bits of strawberry...where was his Earl Grey? Where was anything? God. Just how many brands were there, anyway? He stuck his tongue out at the shelves. Really? Finally, he just grabbed a few boxes of whatever and tossed them into the carriage. He began pushing it through the aisle again when a thought hit him.  
Where was Sherlock?  
He pulled out his mobile and sent a quick 'Where are u?'.  
The reply came back just as quick. 'Experiment. - SH'  
Okaaaaay....  
'WHERE are u?'  
'End cap.'  
"Jesus..." John jammed the phone back into his jacket pocket. Sometimes his boyfriend can be so annoying. Can't he just answer normally for once-  
CRASH!  
"What the hell?" John craned his neck, trying to see the end of the aisle where the pickles were. Nothing there. A few shouts, a call for a clean up...wait, was that... _oil?_ He turned the corner and there it was. A giant mess. A whole shipment of olive oil, on the floor. Broken glass everywhere. A hand on his shoulder made him jump. "Jesus, Sherlock!"  
"John, we need to leave."  
John stared at the taller man for a second. Then it clicked. Oh GOD.  
"SHERLOCK. What the actual hell did you do?"  
"It was an experiment."  
"An experiment?"  
"Yes. Leaving now."  
"An experiment in _what,_ exactly?"  
"Um... balance issues with a particular shape and weight of bottles. The olive oil bottles suited. And as expected, there were...complications. We need to leave. NOW."  
  
In the cab, John fumed.  
"No tea, Sherlock. Tea was not bought, therefore there is no tea for tea. No tea."  
"Yes, John, you've said it many times."  
"We've been banned from yet ANOTHER store."  
"Yes."  
"For an experiment."  
Sherlock squirmed. "Yes."  
John took a deep calming breath that did nothing to calm him. Funny, that. "Sherlock...just. No. No more experiments that could result in messes in Tesco's. Or any store, okay? You got me?"  
Sherlock looked at John from beneath that insane fringe of dark brown hair, his eyes glinting madly and a very small smile barely tugging at his full lips. God damn it. John tried to not look at those lips. He really did. And then those damnable lips moved.  
"I can make it up to you."  
Shit. God damn buggering hell and damn it all. John sighed. "Really. How are you going to make up for getting us kicked out before I could buy tea, Sherlock?"  
A pale hand slowly slid up John's thigh. "I'll think of something."  
The rest of the ride home, Sherlock's hand spent its time kneading and caressing a very _prominent_ part of John's anatomy.  
  
The door to 221B barely had time to close before John was bodily slammed against it and divested of his shoes, trousers and pants in short order. Then those maddening, delectable, _brilliant_ lips wrapped themselves around his cock and he just. Stopped. Thinking. The detective hummed and sucked, licked and dragged his tongue along the underside, swirled around the head and lapped at the precome gathering there. "Hnng...S'lock...God..."  
Huuuuummmmmm.  
John's brain sparked out for a second as he damn near finished right the hell there. _Jesus fuckin' Christ almighty God fuck hell shit Sherlock fuckin' hell-_ "Sherlock..." His hand went down to brush through the mop of hair on his man's head. "God, you are great at sucking cock, you know that?"  
Huuuuuuuummmmmmmmm....  
"Damn it!" John barely had time to warn Sherlock, just a tight grip on his hair, before he came in his boyfriend's mouth. Sherlock swallowed greedily, getting most of it. A small dribble made its way down his chin, and wasn't _that_ the hottest thing on earth? Holy hell... He let go of Sherlock's head so the man could get off of his knees. Sherlock smirked at him.  
 _The_ smirk. The one that screamed, 'I've got something you will love!'  
"Sherlock?"  
"I'm not done with you yet." His voice growled out on the lower registers thanks to the spectacular blowjob. He stood to his full height and pulled out a bottle of...olive oil.  
"Sherlock, you didn't..."  
"Don't worry, I bought it before the experiment. Seeing the display gave me an idea...do you like Italian, John?"  
John nodded.  
"Good. Because I know _exactly_ what to use this for."  
  
Sometimes, experiments are good things.


End file.
